Wednesday, May 22 2013

notoffended:

davidstrider:

davidstrider:

which american president was least guilty

lincoln

he was in a cent

I told this joke at Mouth Rushmore and the park ranger hit me

(via recently-discovered)

lavicomtesse:

My grandfather got suspended from Catholic school for referring to Jesus Christ and the twelve apostles as J.C. and the Boys.

(via fake-mermaid)

Tuesday, May 21 2013

dorfs:

Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year

(via fake-mermaid)

Sunday, May 19 2013

whiskey-memories:

bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me

(via dumblesdore)

Thursday, May 9 2013

nevvzealand:

i helped out at a primary school today and there was a little girl called ice and when she told me that was her name i said “aw thats cool!!” without realising so even subconsciously i am the funniest person in the world

(via fake-mermaid)

Wednesday, May 8 2013

comparingmeerkats:

comparingmeerkats:

this one time i had to look after a fake baby for school and i got like 100% but all i did was shut it up when it cried, he just sat with me on tumblr for 2 days 

he was called doug. he also enjoyed fine wine 

(via jordanisdabomb)

hunkules:

if you haven’t seen Imagine Dragons’ new video for “Demons” you may need to emotionally prepare yourself

(via longafteryouregone)